Blending Families with a Wedding

Blending Families with a Wedding

Weddings are a time of hope and laughter, the joining of hearts and lives, dreams, aspirations, and goals. They’re a celebration of the happiness that has been found between two people and the pledge of devotion they are making as they go forward in a new life together. If it isn’t the first marriage, and there are children involved, there are additional factors that have to be taken into account and acknowledged as part of the process. And while it is a beautiful, happy thing, it also has some challenges as it involves a lot of change for multiple people.

If you’re moving ahead into a blended family situation, here are some things to keep in mind as the big day approaches. (They’re likely thoughts that are already bouncing around in your head as you’re trying to wrap your mind around the whole experience.)

For starters, there are so many emotions involved in this union, and so many hearts, too, making it a really sensitive thing. Some of the children may be excited and see this as a great thing, and others might be struggling with sadness or apprehension. They could be worried that they’ll lose their parent to the new spouse. They might wonder what it will be like to have a stepparent. It might feel a little weird to have another person around all the time who didn’t use to be there. With any big change, there are bound to be lots of reactions to what’s happening, and those emotions and responses can manifest in a variety of ways. It’s also difficult to be an adult and help everyone else navigate their emotions while you’re trying to handle your own, too. You want to be excited about this next new step, but it can be challenging if someone else is having a bad time with it. So, it’s important to expect and anticipate that there will be a lot of emotions to deal with and acknowledge. It’s essential that your home is a safe place to talk about those feelings. And in order for those things to be processed, they have to be addressed. It’s important to talk about them, to be understanding, and to express lots of love.

Along with the previous point, it’s important to help orient your children for the upcoming change as well. They might feel uneasy about what the change will actually look like or feel sensitive about a stepparent acting as a parent. They might resent that or feel like they’re forced to feel a certain way. They might worry that they’re losing you to someone else and worry about what that will look like, how they’ll fit in. These are all legitimate concerns, and it’s a good idea to assess how your kids are doing throughout the whole process. If you know how they’re truly responding to what is happening, you’ll know how to address their concerns and reassure them that they are still a top priority and that they’re not going to lose you in the process.

In the months leading up to the big day, it’s a good idea to do things together as a new blended family unit to create opportunities for important bonding to take place. Your children need experiences with their new stepparent that helps them begin building their own relationship with that person, independent of you. And you need experiences with your new spouse’s children that will help them get to know you and allow you into their lives. You can’t be forceful or pushy with this one, but when the time is right, and in ways that are gentle and unobtrusive, time together is an important thing so relationships can start to form and eventually solidify.

Lastly, involve the kids in the process. If they can help with wedding stuff and be involved, they’ll feel more like they are a valuable part of what is happening. Obviously, there will be things that you’ll feel strongly about, but there are lots of decisions that they can weigh in on. Besides, if you’re getting married, you’re staking for the long haul, and you may as well get used to that family feeling now.

Two people coming together is an event that calls for celebration. If you’re planning a wedding, you’re likely trying to figure out a myriad of details and how to bring everything together just so. One of the concerns you have to take care of is the transportation for all of the events. If you’re looking for a way to keep the wedding party together, call us! If you need to have a shuttle because of limited parking, we’re the solution you’re looking for! If that’s one way we can remove some extra stress from your plate, we’d love to help with that. Learn more by visiting our wedding services page here: